Why “Trust Your Gut” is Terrible Advice! – Last first date

Posted by Sandy Weiner in Dating After Divorce, Love After 40 | 0 comments

Have you been told to trust your instincts when going out, but is this always the best advice? In this video, I reveal to you when this is terrible advice and why.

Trust your instincts! The gut always knows the truth! How many times have you received this advice? In this video, I will reveal why “trust your instincts” can be terrible advice and what to do …

Why “Trust Your Gut” is Terrible Advice!

You’ve probably had an instinctive feeling about someone you’ve dated. Maybe you broke up with a guy, because your instinct told you it wasn’t good for you. But what if it really suited you and your so-called “gut” was wrong?

We explore what exactly intestinal feelings are, when we should trust them, and when what we feel is something else.

What is an intestinal sensation?

Intestinal feelings are an inner knowledge. They are the wisest part of us who know when something is good or bad for us.

It’s called a “gut” sensation, because it usually starts in our gut, in the form of fluttering like butterflies, or heat. It can also appear as a hardening of the chest or goosebumps.

Our instinct comes from aligning ourselves with our core values. Its purpose is to help us to be faithful to ourselves and to make good decisions from a place of love, not fear.

Signs of an intestinal sensation

  • Instant and fluid
  • Feeling calm
  • It feels definitive, and you don’t analyze it too much
  • It feels right and simple
  • He feels loving, supportive and expansive
  • He feels present

Can you always trust your instincts?

Unfortunately, you can’t always trust your instincts. Because sometimes it’s not a feeling at all. It’s a trigger.

What are the triggers?

Triggers are a sensation in our body that comes from the fear, self-protection, and pain and trauma of the past. There are internal and external triggers.

Internal triggers

These come from within us, in the form of memory, physical sensation or emotion.

For example, if you’re on a treadmill and your heart starts beating fast, it might remind you of a time when you ran away from an abusive partner. This would be considered an internal trigger. Past experience returns to the present as a feeling of fear in your body.

Or when someone you’re dating isn’t texting for a day or two, it might remind you when your dad left when you were little and you’re scared to leave.

Common feelings and memories that can trigger internal triggers

  • Boredom
  • Anxiety
  • Overwhelm
  • Vulnerability
  • Feeling abandoned
  • Feeling out of control
  • Memories linked to a traumatic event
  • Pain
  • Sadness

External triggers

These come from the environment and can be a specific person, place or situation.

For example, a war veteran listens to fireworks and reminds them of guns. Their bodies feel like they have returned to the war, and they become anxious and sweaty.

Common things that can make someone feel externally activated

  • A movie, show, or article that reminds you of a traumatic experience you once had
  • A connected person with a difficult experience
  • Arguing
  • A specific time of day
  • A sound or smell that reminds you of an experience
  • When a relationship changes or ends
  • Significant appointments, such as a holiday or a birthday
  • A place that reminds you of an experience

When we react to a trigger, we feel it in our body. Be aware of signs, such as changes in breathing or heart rate, to learn to calm down and change your emotional state.

When you pull away from the trigger, refocus and focus on a good coping strategy, you can think clearly and distinguish between the inner knowledge of your bright intuition and a trigger that might be trying to protect you, but not it has nothing to do with what’s best for you right now.

So if you’re dating someone and something is wrong, your instinct may be trying to keep you safe, because that person isn’t really a good partner. Or it may be that your mind is trying to find what is wrong, based on a trigger of your past that has nothing to do with the person you are with.

When in doubt, ask questions. Be curious. Once you have more information, you can make a better decision about whether to stay or leave.

Knowing the difference between a gut feeling and a trigger can help you get closer to the people you like and stay away from those who aren’t really your partner.

If you feel stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a free 1/2 hour innovation session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join your last first date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a woman of value; How to thrive in life and love.


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