When and How to Speak Up in a Relationship – Last First Date

Posted by Sandy Weiner in dating in midlife | 0 comments

I coached Cheryl on the podcast about when and how to speak up in a relationship, childhood trauma, and reparenting your inner child.

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Cheryl wrote into the podcast, “I am in an exclusive relationship and I have two main issues.

The first is that since I’ve been so unsuccessful in relationships in the past, my confidence is low and I often put myself down with him, sometimes expressing disbelief that he wants me.

The second issue is that sometimes I get miffed by things he does, but I can’t decide whether to address them. They’re small things, like when he came to my house for the first time, he didn’t compliment me on it. Or when I paid for our movie tickets, he didn’t offer to pay for our snacks, so I paid for those, too. There are many wonderful things he does and I do call them out and express my appreciation. When and how do I speak up about the smaller stuff? ”

EP 490: Live Coaching With Cheryl – When and How to Speak Up in a Relationship

In this episode of Last First Date Radio, I coach Cheryl on why it’s so hard for her to speak up in her current relationship.

A little background on Cheryl:

• She grew up in a home with an alcoholic father
• Her parents argued violently with each other
• She didn’t receive the love and affection she needed as a child
• She struggled in all her relationships
• Her husband didn’t value her
• The next person she dated after divorce didn’t value her
• In her current relationship, she’s afraid to speak up about hurt feelings

I coach her, and as we dig deeper, we discover the real issue – she doesn’t feel love within because of her upbringing. I gave her a powerful exercise on how to give herself the love she didn’t get as a child, to fill the hole she has from a dysfunctional childhood. And I give her a three-part homework assignment to help her begin to heal.

Cheryl followed up with me after doing the homework. Listen to find out what happened (spoiler alert – it’s pretty amazing!).

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If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 1/2 hour breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

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>>> Want to be coached on the show? Fill out an application here: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching <<<

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