When and how to define the relationship: last first date

Posted by Sandy Weiner in Half-Life Dating 0 comments

Confused about WHEN to define the relationship? OR HOW to have this conversation? Watch this video to know when and how to do DTR!

Have you ever been afraid to define the relationship (DTR)? Wondering what is the best time for DTR? In this video, you’ll discover when and how to talk about your relationship with the person you’re dating.

When and how to define the relationship

Why it is important to define the relationship

  • Clarify what you need and want = less confusion and lovelessness
  • Set clear boundaries so that there are fewer misunderstandings
  • Make sure you are both on the same page about the relationship
    • Commitment
    • Exclusivity
    • Emotional investment

NOTE: Relationships don’t seem the same to everyone, so it’s important to know what works for you and what you need from someone you’re dating.

DTR conversations are agreements between two people who are dating.

These may be:

  • Exclusivity
  • Casual dating
  • Friends with benefits


  • Based on personal feelings after meeting someone for a while
  • It is not influenced by what others think is the right time
  • Look for clues that the person you’re dating is on the same page
  • Look for consistency, investment of time and energy, making it a priority


Get ready for the conversation by asking a few questions and writing down what you want to say.

1. How do you feel when you are with this person?

  • Are you happy
  • Are you anxious about where you are?
  • Do you feel stagnant and stagnant?

2. What kind of relationship do you want?

  • What do you want to get out that specific relationship?

3. Make a script for the conversation

  • Don’t say, “We need to talk!”
  • Start with what you like about them
  • Use “I” statements; “I’m really enjoying the time we spend together and I’ve decided I want to stop dating other men so I can focus on getting to know you better.”
  • Be specific in defining how you feel about the relationship
  • Ask what they want

4. Listen and ask open-ended questions

  • “What do you think?”
  • “How do you feel about that?”
  • “Tell me more…”

5. Be prepared for any response

  • If they are on the same page, what are the next steps?
  • If they are not on the same page, what will you do?
  • Know your end result

Have an open mind and detach yourself from the outcome. If you define the relationship and you’re both on the same page, that’s great! No more guessing or anxiety about how you both feel. And, it’s not a one-off conversation. This is a conversation you may want to revisit from time to time, as feelings may change over time.

Relationships are a living being. The more open and honest your communication, the better you will feel.

Have you ever been afraid to define the relationship? Leave a comment and let me know …

If you are stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a free innovative 45 minute session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join your last first date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a woman of value; How to thrive in life and love.


#define #relationship #date

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