Slower text responses from loved ones do not mean that they are ignored

Growth, texting and almost constant connection did not exist. If you were calling someone who was not at home, the phone rang, or you left a message in your voicemail or who you live with. In other cases, I called and received the busy signal. And then I had to make my living. Or try again later.

Now, regardless of whether someone is available or not, we can enter your phone with a message.

Depending on where we check, we can see Yes are online When they were the last in line and even what they were doing. And I think that has created the false impression that if we don’t get an immediate or quick response, it means they are ignoring us. Or, as my daughters say, they ’emit’ us. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. Apparently, teens explain their lack of response or slow response by saying that they were “emitting” the person in question. Then, this creates anxiety about having done something wrong when, realistically, the person was having dinner or was not allowed to be on their phone!

Deceiving ourselves with the expectation that “a quick response is special” is that we clearly feel little special and ignored when that person’s response is slower than usual.

Associating how quickly someone returns our call or responds to our text with our self-esteem or how much they value the relationship plays into this idea that a slower-than-expected response occurs. because we did something wrong.

Text responses, in particular, are great sources of friction and tension in friendships and dating. As humans like to try to control the uncontrollable, we rely on rules and patterns. This means, for example, that we could always set text messages to respond to text messages as a personal rule, so we can expect the other party to do the same. Which, of course, is not a real and healthy reason to answer a text. It then becomes: “A good friend should respond in X minutes / hours, not days.”

When we leave, we could make a mental note of the pattern of the text. Despite texting during what could be a relatively short (and intense) time, we are beginning to feel confident. If we do not receive the usual text in the morning or the usual number of emojis or closing, then we are anxious to send text messages. Next, we are spiraling out. We imagine all sorts of terrible things, even though we barely know that person.

The truth is that a quick response is not special.

Given the stress that people find in modern communication, it can sometimes mean a quick response anxious.

It can sometimes mean boring, distracted, or escaping.

And, yes, they can be sources of troubles in the past.

It doesn’t to own to mean anything, however.

If we are about to measure frequencies and response times, we need to have an honest conversation with ourselves about what really passing. We are trying to control something. Most people don’t want to feel that if they respond quickly, they are contractually obligated to do so forever to avoid being called a bad friend or negligent loved one.

Likewise, if a loved one takes longer than we would like to respond, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. We must not begin to imagine all sorts of problems and injustices, especially since this says more about the lack of security in the relationship or the potential underlying tensions than about the response itself. When we tend to assume or worry that we are being ignored, we need to recognize the baggage behind it. Recognizing this old pain will help us differentiate between the past and the present so that we can be kinder to ourselves with healthier boundaries.

And if there is is one problem, it’s much better to address it than to get into a frustrating session of keeping your score with text ping pong. We know that there is genuine freedom and trust in a close relationship when a response sometimes takes time, and it is not a thing.

With new people, even if the lack of response or call can mean disappointment, it doesn’t mean anything. We as a person.

Now, of course, there are cases where people, both adults and children, ignore someone. But don’t listen to someone’s response that day or being trapped in their lives it doesn’t it means they ignore us.

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#Slower #text #responses #loved

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