The three-day rule still exists. After a first or second date, some men wait three days before calling you or even texting you. That’s because they don’t want to look too impatient. Here is what happened to a woman who was insulted for this typical time.
Do men still follow the three-day rule?
“Hello Ronnie, the dating coach!
What do you think of the guys who follow the 3 day rule after a great first date? I had a wonderful first date with a guy who approached me, got my number, asked me out, and so on. By the way, he asked me to go out FOUR times before I was available, so he definitely chased me. To date, he mentioned making plans for the future, going to sports games along with his tickets, and so on.
He didn’t send me messages for three days
At the end of the date, he suggested that he do it again sometime. He didn’t text me for EXACTLY 3 days (I’m talking 72 hours to the point) after the first date. I was very excited about that. It was also an annoyingly casual text: “Are you watching the XYZ basketball game? We’re fine …” that’s it.
No phone call? No, “We had a great time, are we making plans again?” I did not answer. I haven’t contacted him at all. Should I have answered? That was 4 days ago and he didn’t text me or call me. It may be playing a game or just a flake. I do not know.
The truth is, I’m a little out of this guy’s league in both appearance and personality. I think he’s trying to change things up a little bit.
Please tell me what you think and if I should have answered.
Still waiting in Indiana
Dear still waiting,
You may be surprised by this, but I think you were a little hard on him.
What is the three day rule?
When a man waits three days to connect after a first date, this is the “Three Day Rule”, which has been the male standard for when to contact (which used to be a phone call) after a first date. date. Three days is still a good time to respond to my book.
Some men wait a week or two! This is a sure sign that these guys are not so interested, are chasing many women, or have been distracted by someone else.
With the man I married, the first few weeks we went out, he only called me once a week and we saw each other once a week. He made a second appointment at the end of the first, but waited 4-5 days to pick up the phone.
The unexpressed rules of dating
Send text messages with men after the first date
A guy might send you a text message before you call, even just after the date. Many singles start sending messages to the site and stay strong. Younger men (under 40) tend to communicate a lot through text messaging, as many grew up with a cell phone. is part of its nature.
Keep in mind, however, that sending text messages, while fun, often doesn’t make sense. A man can send text messages to many women at once and it is a more lazy way. What do I mean by that?
Men know that a phone conversation can take 20 to 30 minutes or more. Therefore, some guys limit the time spent sending text messages. That’s why phone calling is more important, which is especially true for men over 50.
Two ways to take care of yourself before you wait
1) Having a date with more than one man at a time
Let’s go back to how things went with the man I married. Luckily for me, I didn’t care much about his slower time. It’s not because he wasn’t likeable or a real possibility, but he was also dating another guy.
This is the exact reason why I recommend going out with more than one man at a time. It prevents you from analyzing too much of any man before proving himself. This is an effective way to avoid getting stuck too early. And having other guys to think about will keep you from going crazy when they follow the three-day rule.
Doing this made a big difference to me and kept me calm when I wasn’t feeling fast enough for my liking.
The truth is, if he hadn’t dated this other guy, he probably wouldn’t have found Paul’s time acceptable. I’m sure he would have sabotaged things by kicking the curb because he was tired of waiting because of his slower pace.
2) Keep busy
Whether you’re scheduling time with friends, starting a project, or exercising, plan ahead when you go out, and find ways to keep you busy. Having little or nothing to do between dates gives you too much time to think about when to call a man.
She cleans a closet, a newspaper, paints something, learns to knit or speak Italian. You understand the idea. Idleness allows too much time to reflect on the situation.
Men need positive feedback
Another point about gaps in communication is that sometimes men look for positive comments from women. They want to know that you are interested before continuing your search. This is evidence of a lack of courage, but the truth is that dating has also been difficult for some boys, not just women.
However, you chose not to reply to your random text at all. It was definitely an option. But if you don’t answer, what do you expect to convey? Did you want him to think you didn’t want to see him again? This is the message you probably received even though it was not what you intended.
While I agree with women when they complain about men sending too many text messages or never calling, the difference here is that you are just getting started. Maybe he would have called if you had answered.
As a dating coach, I hear this from male clients: women won’t give them an inch or any positive feedback. Yes, some guys use the three-day rule and need a little encouragement from the woman. Responding to a man’s text is like providing that signal of interest.
A little encouragement makes the difference
Unfortunately, many women do not give a chance to most men. As a result, many good guys who would be great mates have been emotionally beaten and feel down. They are tired of taking ALL the social risk of going out with a partner by taking their neck off and chasing you.
Providing some positive feedback lets a man know that you’re happy to know. This is a clever move and it is a kindness.
You don’t have to say much, you just have to be light and simple. He responds to a man’s comment about the game and then you can say you had a good time. What’s wrong? That doesn’t make you too impatient, too enthusiastic, or desperate.
Instead, this will makes you look warm, positive, and willing to share a small degree of vulnerability that is too sexy and feminine to be honest with you.
It’s not too late to return a text message
You may be out of their league, but you are probably out of their list now that you have not returned the message. But it may not be too late. You can still text him and tell him you’re having fun with him. Then mention something you are doing.
Keep it light and short. You never know, a little encouragement might get him back.
I am a great believer in letting man lead and not pursue them. This dating advice does not go against any of these principles. It hit you, so the ball is still on your court. Throw it back to see what happens.
It may not work after four days, but this way you won’t wonder what would have happened if you had answered.
Give men a chance
You may be used to men calling you the next day, which is great compared to following the traditional three-day rule. But for me, waiting three days to start a conversation with an informal text is totally acceptable. I am in favor of having high standards as long as you are realistic with your expectations.
It’s easy to say no to men. Instead, I encourage you to open up a little and give men a chance. Give them a little positive spirit and give them a chance to win. Thank God, I followed this advice and ended up with my husband, whose time was slower than mine. I’m just saying that I did very well and so did you.
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