Do you have long distance relationship problems?
Today’s question is that only daring women read it …
QUESTION QUESTIONS AND REPORTS FROM A READER:
Carlos, I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with me other than being unemployed.
I am a qualified professional, who has been successful enough to raise my 21-year-old son (who is living with me again) and buy an apartment for myself.
I got married and divorced twice (they both had addictive personalities and they were both abusive, not physically, and I desperately they want to break the pattern.
My last relationship, a four-year roller coaster ride, over and over again, was also with an addict.
(alcoholic), and now I just want to find true love and peace.
So, bottom line is that we’re really looking forward to it no buy happiness, now i communicate online with a 53 year old guy 2200 miles away who looks like a very nice guy big heart who knows how to make me smile.
Not only is he 2200 miles away, but he lives in his brother’s motorhome, has just found a job at Home Depot helping clients (the job of a 20-year-old, he admits embarrassingly) and is trying to recover. if it had been done. he lost everything (due to their last relationship).
But he still maintains his faith in God, an admirable quality for me, and tries to help me with advice and emotional support.
Anyways, Because Am I getting involved with someone so low on the socioeconomic totem? He’s not looking at all, and he is working hard to put his life on track.
Money is not everything, but it has to be Something wrong with him for being in such a serious situation
that point in your life, right? Or am I too critical? PLEASE HELP.
Thank you so much,
CARLOS CAVALLO ANSWERS:
Well, RZ, that seems like a problem.
I must admit that I ask myself the same question: Because Are you involved with a man who is 2200 miles away?
Know my position on long distance relationships: they suck.
They give the illusion of intimacy with CAP of reality. They let you play “fantasy“with your relationship, and it has the attractive” longing forever “where you can dream about it imaginary person all the time.
(They are also a kind of cop-out – and I explain the reasons advanced in the Forever Yours program)
My better guess is that you’re doing this because you see a man trying to “redeem himself” and secretly wish this was your last relationship.
Look, I guess you’re trying to do this too easy about yourself. It’s not really a “no need for money” statement that makes you contact this guy.
The problem is, you don’t really have a list of criteria to choose the next man in your life.
That’s why you find yourself required to continue this 2200 mile relationship with someone you know doesn’t really to want.
Come on, you to know what you’re doing, you’re big, and yet you’re making a decision that you don’t really wants to do. (But all the decisions we make are for one reason. You didn’t throw a coin here: this situation meets some purpose for you, i no necessarily healthy.)
I could theorize to the end of the world about WHY, but that doesn’t matter at all.
What matters is that you should start making active decisions by plan, rather than passive by accident.
So here’s what I want you to do:
Take 30 minutes tonight and sit down with a pen and paper. Keep that kind of 2200 miles out of your mind for a while.
I want you to list all the qualities you really have TO WANT in a man. They really want to.
Sit down and be brutally honest with yourself.
If you find yourself edging and stringing and debate toouse an egg timer and just give it away 10 minutes to brainstorm.
Divide this list into 2 parts:
– Nice to have it
– It must have
And if you get to the part where you think, ‘Hmm … it’s nice to be 2200 miles away,’ one of my criteria? “
You’re going to do it shrink little bit. Especially when it comes to admitting that this kind of long distance fantasy was really more than just a way to do it. avoid do the real dirty work of meeting someone locally.
He was a delayed tacticsand nothing more.
No, RZ, there is nothing wrong with you.
And yet, there is something you need to find that you have to confess to yourself. Something you are not realistic about in your relationships.
Here is the another part of your duties. It is also the “hard love“Most of the so-called gurus and aspiring therapists out there would never ask for fear of getting angry:
Write down why you chose men who “had addictive personalities and were abusive.”
Because, yes, you * choose * them. And I’ll bet you do long before the divorce you were able to to realize that of these men.
Something in you made you wish these relationships. Those relationships complete a need in you too.
In short, until you find out your contribution to these relationships, nothing it is likely to change.
I just want the best for you, and to do so is to tell you to bite your lip and get a little angry about this situation.
Use those awkward (but powerful) ones emotions to push you down the path you want to follow. You’re working too hard to stay comfortable and mediocre.
Towards a healthy relationship with a man who satisfies you, instead of always leaving you with a little desire.
And once again realize your power and value in a relationship!
Yours in Perfect Passion,
– Carlos Cavallo
Just go here and watch this short video and discover the 3 questions that make any man open his heart, love you as you deserve and make it yours forever …
UPDATED ON 9/24/2021
#Long #distance #relationship #problems
Sometimes we include links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission.