If you weren’t too busy or overwhelmed, would your “no” change to a “yes”?

One of my favorite ways to say no to respecting and honoring my values ​​is “I don’t have bandwidth.” At this time, I recognize my existing commitments and needs. I just have a lot of time, energy and effort. These have an impact on my emotions and in turn affect my overall emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being. To say no from a place in my bandwidth is to finally recognize the potential impact to say yes: the meaning and consequences of doing so.

But one crucial thing to keep in mind when we say no in these circumstances is whether we would do it to want a Yes otherwise we had the bandwidth. This creates a greater awareness of what we do and what we do not want to do, making it easier to respect our values ​​and limits.

Here’s the thing: humans have a complicated relationship with rest, listening to ourselves, and creating healthy boundaries.

We behave as if we owe our “free time” to anyone who makes an offer. As a result, we feel guilty and ashamed that we need to rest, and we behave like machines.

And thanks to The Age of Obedience, where we raise, communicate, and interact with children focused on strictness, discipline, and fulfillment, we are detached from our feelings and tend to forget, dazzle, and become we blackmail ourselves emotionally because we do what others expect or say they need and want. This is especially so when we feel or perceive that the other person is an “authority.” We miss vital messages from our body about our needs or what doesn’t work, struggling to literally feel our limits.

We need to be aware of where we use to be “busy” to avoid having to deal with ourselves or others.

For example, overwork because it allows us to get away from having to deal with our family or being connected to our inner world creates many more problems than it solves. Exhaustion or some kind of illness will probably stop us and force us to slow down.

Yes, for example, us he would do something Yes we had the bandwidth, we need to be aware of our “why”. Is it based on desire or obligation?

Yes, if bandwidth allows, we would like to do something, we just received some useful information. Maybe it’s something we want to make room for in the future. We might consider whether what our bandwidth currently consumes is a priority in order to be able, if necessary, to make adjustments.

But if the not more The reason we would say yes is a sense of obligation, then we have to acknowledge our no. We are not for the consumption of all others and we do not owe our bandwidth to the people.

We are also allowed to say that not just because of us to want a. Yes, we are! We don’t have to wait until we’re exhausted or our schedule has run out to say no.

Of course, it will not always be possible to do only the things we want. But if our litmus test for doing things is basically shitty feelings of obligation and shame, we will always have a problem with our yes. i no. We will say yes for false and limitless reasons, and this will always cause big problems.

Recognizing whether we would want to do something if we had bandwidth is crucial. As we say it does not communicate to us as well as others to which we are open. If we imply that we would do something if we only had bandwidth, this means that if bandwidth allows it, we will say yes in the future. All right, if that’s true, but it’s a problem when we never want to.

Sure, we can still say we don’t have the bandwidth, but we can also be clear. For example, “I don’t have the bandwidth to do unpaid work.” “I’m not at night for the foreseeable future.” Although we do not express any details, we know ours it doesn’t mean we can take active care of ourselves, and that’s always good.

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#werent #busy #overwhelmed #change

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