How to solve relationship problems in 5 proven steps

You are here because you want to know how to solve relationship problems. That’s a good thing.

It is much better to look for solutions than to point the finger at your lover or blame external sources.

Taking responsibility is the first step, so congratulations!

(Click here for the “Am I dating a friendly man with the engagement?” Questionnaire)

How to solve relationship problems

When you’re struggling in your relationship and you feel completely trapped, you don’t know what to do (none of us are really taught how to relate to others), it’s natural to seek advice.

But here’s an interesting truth:

There will be no knowledge or information real catalyst to improve your situation.

You are.

Look, when it comes to relationships, knowledge and advice will help you a lot. But real resources come from the emotions within you. No specific advice will solve your relationship problems unless you have the right motivation to accompany it.

What do I mean?

I mean, the same emotions that you feel inside are the ones that you will ultimately have to pull off in order to put the knowledge to work.

Emotions like:

  • Guilt
  • wounded
  • Lamentations
  • Empathy
  • Love
  • Even fear.

All of these emotions will be the “source” from which you will do this choose to improve your relationship.

You are the real source of the problem, not the knowledge. It’s okay to say you “know” something, but knowing it intellectually is absolutely useless.

Know that it is doing that. And it is the emotions you feel that will allow you to get the job done.

In the realm of dating and relationships, where everyone has an opinion, where there is a series of discussions and tons of advice being offered, you absolutely need to know:

There are very few absolute truths in relationships. There are very few absolute truths in life.

What this means for you is that you need to be in tune, empathetic and adaptable.

That said, let’s get into the 5 proven steps to solving a relationship problem.

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# 1: Whatever advice you read, always question it.

Aside from my advice, of course (It’s a joke).

And by the way I don’t mean to treat it with suspicion (although that also has its place sometimes), I mean, always build your own mental puzzles. Always think.

For example, if a source says you should never sleep with a man before the third or first date (many sources do), and that’s a big mistake, but you’ve done it and things don’t work out. so good in your new relationship right now, it’s easy to attribute it to the fact that you slept with him too soon.

It’s easy to start going crazy and drowning in repentance, but the truth is, this may not be the reason why things are not working so well. (Read my article on relationship tips that you should never take)

Don’t let external sources derail your focus. No one knows your relationship as well as you do.

No one can be as in tune with your relationship as you are (and if they are they are more in tune than you, then that’s it exact reason you have a relationship problem to solve!)

No one knows your situation as well as you do. Build your own mental puzzles and find your own solutions with the help of two things

  1. Your own internal emotional resources; i
  2. With the additional help of external resources.

So what are your own internal emotional resources?

  • Empathy
  • Tuning
  • Love
  • Wish
  • Cure

And what are external resources?

  • Books
  • Courses
  • Other people
  • Life experience, and anything else you want.

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Another example: Say a source says you shouldn’t ask a man where your relationship is going, but you’ve already done it; what are you doing then

Drowning in repentance and worry? No no no… ..no.

Although it seems that this in itself caused problems. Although this advice is reasonable. Although it may be true; it does not mean that it is true yours situation, and that doesn’t mean you have to fall to your knees and think there’s no hope for you.

Also, just because everyone tells you that you shouldn’t have done this or that you shouldn’t have done it doesn’t mean it should be true for you.

Again, there are very few absolute truths in life.

So … exactly how to solve relationship problems? Let’s look at step number two.

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# 2: Ask better questions.

The answers are not in the answers, they are in the questions.

Need an example? For sure.

When your man isn’t paying attention, and he doesn’t seem to be paying the attention you want, instead of wondering why the hell he’s not in tune with you and doesn’t care; ask yourself: What better way to get his attention than in a way that serves me and him?

Better yet, look for it understanding what life is like in your shoes.

(Click here to read more about our Understanding Men program)

When things go wrong, when you feel you’ve been wrong, and especially when and if you start thinking about all the actions you’ve done with a man and wondering where you went wrong, stop. Get up and keep moving forward. Keep asking better questions. (read my article on what happens if you’re very interested in video games)

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# 3: Keep hoping for positive examples.

Hope is everywhere, if only you see it. To know how to solve relationship problems, you need to keep hoping and not drown in negativity.

Because negativity is everywhere. If you need examples of why and when relationships don’t work, because of irreconcilable differences, cheating, or whatever, you’ll find plenty of examples!

But there are also hopeful examples everywhere. Your job is to actively look for positive and hopeful examples, because they are everywhere too!

This is a way to continually replenish your long-term emotional resources.

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# 4: Add value first

Whenever you have a relationship problem that needs to be resolved, you will have much more power to communicate with a man by adding value first.

So, for example, if you need to hear more about what you have to say, you might want to know where it is at first.

Listen to women’s issues or even women’s issues solutions it can be difficult for men, because as male souls, men need to have their own direction. If they don’t, they may not be respected as men.

So knowing that it can be difficult for him, you can start by saying:

“Hey, I know it’s a big job to hear what I have to say sometimes. I know sometimes what I say may not make sense. But I don’t have to ‘fix’ anything for myself. I just need you to listen.”

By saying that, you’re finding him where he is, as well as removing his defenses to “get things out”.

It is said to add value first by understanding he first.

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# 5: Recognize any accumulation of negative associations

If you are wondering how to solve relationship problems, then there is a good chance that there are already some accumulated negative associations in your relationship and these negative associations will slowly devour anything good you try to do (unless acknowledge the negative associations of the past first).

What does it mean?

It means that when we have hurt our partner over and over again (or have hurt you over and over again), an emotional and neurological association is created in their body and mind with you.

And if this harm is caused again and again by the same or similar behavior, it will kill the quality of the relationship very quickly.

How quickly your relationship kills depends on the severity of the damage and how much you really want to make up for it.

MORE: 10 agonizing signs show how men act when they are emotionally hurt.

So what do you do?

Don’t ignore the negative associations that are created between him and you. Instead, acknowledge and make room for the hoe you are feeling, or ask for your kindly space so that you can rebuild trust.

With this solid foundation of built trust, you will be able to solve relationship problems much faster and with less pain or resistance.

This concludes the 5 proven ways to solve relationship problems. Let me pass the ball to you now:

I wanted to ask you these questions:

Can you think of any absolute truth in relationships?

What do you consider to be an absolute truth when dealing with men or in life? Maybe something you can’t argue with? Leave me a comment below and let me know!

Renee Wade what to do when she's not calling


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