Does your personal sabotage behavior make it difficult to find love?

How do you know when self-sabotage behavior is interfering with your love life? Watch out for these telltale signs and find out what you can do.

How does self-sabotage occur?

self-sabotage behavior Self-sabotage behavior is extremely stealthy. How do you know if you’re getting in the way and causing trouble?

Self-sabotage finds a bit of a crack in your confidence and sinks deep into your psyche. These self-destructive ideas are then incorporated into your thinking and seem unbelievably true and completely reasonable.

Sometimes sabotage is not even part of your conscious mind, but of your subconscious, which is why people are often not fully aware that they are working against themselves.

This is what happens. You are firm in your beliefs about dating, love, and men. True or false, these beliefs become your operating system for your relationship with the world.

You note articles in the media that show that you are right in this way of thinking all the time. There is so much evidence that finding love again is almost IMPOSSIBLE.

Are you related to any of this?

Signs of self-sabotage behavior

There are a number of telltale signs that you may not know that allow you to stand between yourself and the love you dream of.

  • Sometimes the idea of ​​seeking love completely paralyzes you. You can’t imagine taking a step forward even if you enjoy reading blogs and dating newsletters to learn about the process.
  • You may feel overwhelmed by the idea of ​​going out again and move away from it to avoid the unpleasant possibilities and the constant decision-making required.
  • Or you fall into a lot of anxiety when you start dating, worrying about each new man and how he is likely to hurt or disappoint you, as the rest have done.

These situations are fraught with distressing self-sabotage behavior. They show that you have been making your decisions about love based solely on the fear of failure. This is the very definition of getting in your way.

I was a self-sabotaging professional!

I personally know all about it, doing almost 18 YEARS in my own way!

When my college boyfriend and I broke up, it was completely broken. I left him because it was obvious that he no longer loved me. His behavior made it very clear.

Still, he was devastated, confused, hurt, and so mad that our three-year relationship came to such a painful end. I didn’t want to feel that way again.

As a result, I did almost NOTHING to meet men and find love for 18 years! I kept myself completely safe, even though I thought I was open and looking for love.

Therefore, I was practically one of the queens of self-sabotage behavior. (There are so many of us that I can’t claim to be the only queen LOL.)

Years to avoid lovelessness

self-sabotageIn my first job out of college I made a lot of friends and had a lot of fun. But let’s face it – my friends and I went dancing in gay bars so men wouldn’t bother us! Unbeknownst to me, I took my way very seriously when it came to men and love.

Then I went back to school to do my MBA and got the job of my dreams in brand marketing, working on my success and promotion.

From time to time, I would venture into a singles dance to meet men. A group of us sat on the back wall and complained that no one was asking us to dance. As if we were doing anything to be available!

Men don’t want to approach a group of women and ask them to dance. This is too risky for them.

There were also blind dates over the years, but they were terrible, proving again that there were no good men.

At one point, I went out with my neighbor for 6 weeks, but that quickly faded. I joined a dating service that was completely disastrous. Finally, after about 14 years living single life, I responded to a single man’s announcement and broke my heart after 4 dates with this guy.

Then all of a sudden, I was 40 and still single!

Unlike many of my friends, I never met a man or got married. My fear was that being single would be my luck in life and I had no hope of changing my romantic status.

After spending the first few months of my 40 years feeling helpless and depressed, I somehow realized a great deal of understanding.

A powerful solution for self-sabotage

If she didn’t want to stay single, she had to look inside. Clearly, I was the common denominator of all these experiences. It was time to ask what I was doing to get in my way.

The biggest problem I discovered was my belief that there were no good men. Evidence to support this idea could be found everywhere.

As a result, this is known as the “human condition.” You can prove that your beliefs are right at any time and there is a great need to have them. But that doesn’t mean they really are, which is such a weird aspect of life.

You can be deeply rooted in your convictions, and yet a 180-degree change is really possible and helpful!

This is because when you change your mind, something new may happen. You need to break into your belief system to allow a new, positive belief to take root and take hold.

Here are some powerful misconceptions about online dating that may also interfere.

Overcome fear

self-sabotage behaviorWhen I went on my first date in my 40’s, was I scared? You bet!

I had been working on myself to change my beliefs and open my heart when a friend suddenly called to fix me with this guy. I didn’t even know I was working on this and that I was ready for love!

Going on that date was the only way to find love. It was time to meet men, so I said yes to his offer to deal with Keith.

By the way, Keith wasn’t the right gentleman, but he was the man he needed to start dating again. Going out with him helped me see that this is just a process to get where I wanted to go: to be in love with a wonderful man who wanted to be my life partner.

I went out with a lot of men after Keith and I stopped seeing them all and in 15 months I met number 30, the man who is now my adorable and loving husband.

The journey to find love

In the journey to find love, it is true: some men will disappoint you or make you disappear. You may be hurt and choose the wrong man again.

However, you can LEARN what works, be smarter, and feel more secure. And then, like me and many of my clients, you can stop self-sabotaging behavior to meet the man you’ve been waiting for all along.

If I hadn’t pushed myself out of my comfort zone and not gone out with all those men, I would never have known my sweet husband. If I didn’t look inside to understand how I was putting myself in my way, I would still be single for sure.

To be brave is not to feel fearless

The very definition of courage is to feel fear and take steps anyway. This is how you know that you are ALIVE and that it only exists, taking steps to fulfill your heart’s desire.

Now, it is true that it is not necessary to have a man or a relationship. You do not need to be married or dating. You can have a wonderful, rich, fulfilling life as a single person. No arguments on my part.

But if you want love, you have to take the steps to find it. Look inside, recognize and stop self-sabotaging behavior, and open your heart to the love you long for.

If you don’t know where to start, it’s worth taking a look at your potential blogs to love. Listen to this free audio program and find out where you can go your way.

ronnie retouched circle straight onSingle for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her personal development skills and spiritual path to work, going out with 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to the demonstration and half-life appointmentsfounded It’s Never Too Late to Help smart, successful women find love or live empowered and magical lives. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a certified trainer who has helped thousands of middle-aged women with their Love & Magical Life Coach services. She is the host of the Breathe love and magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC and Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com and Connecticut Magazine, among others. In addition, Ronnie is the author of 6 books that are available on Amazon.

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