But are you really in trouble?

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I explain how learning to be obedient unconditionally biased our perception of the negative consequences and why it’s time to refresh our thinking so that we can stop being frightened by create healthy boundaries and take care of ourselves.

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5 key topics in this episode

  • Unless we’re a kid now, we grew up in The Age of Obedience. This is where parenting, communication, and interaction with children focused on obedience. It was about teaching us to unconditional compliance, which allowed no nuances. It’s not uncommon for us to struggle or not know when to say no.
  • While we may be afraid to say no and have limits, what we are often most afraid of are consequences of these. But the problem we were afraid to get into it wasn’t the consequence of not doing that particular thing. It was the consequence of not obeying that particular person, who is very different.
  • I’ve come to recognize that no matter how annoying it may sometimes be when our daughters don’t do what they ask or expect, I do not do it they want them to comply unconditionally. We are teaching life skills, limits, not how to submit to us.
  • No wonder some of us are afraid to learn or try new things when we used to be called or punished for not knowing something. Part of the response from parents or caregivers was due to the feeling that we are not responding correctly we are disobedient or that we were embarrassing them and making it clear that they are not successful parents or that we would not become a good and successful worker. Adult.
  • The pandemic with its confinements, social distancing, guidelines, rules, cuts and changes and continuity has been very triggering for many people. And as we press our buttons around obedience and fulfillment, especially anything we perceive as arbitrary or dubious, some of us have reached the point of obedience and stuck our heels in.

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