Wisdom: the quality of having experience, knowledge and good judgment.
Strength: Mental strength that allows a person to face danger or endure pain or adversity with courage.
Are you sometimes afraid to go out and go after meeting your partner bravely and like the strong adult woman you are?
Compare them with other challenges and disappointments in your life. Are You Really So Afraid to Stay Single?
You’ve killed bigger dragons in your life than this one, my friend.
The emotional intensity we feel around dating and mating can create such vulnerability and discomfort that it seems disastrous (or at least as something we want to avoid).
But really? Being rejected by a man can be the least of the challenges in your life.
The advantage of being 40, 50, and 60 years old is our clarity about what we want (our wisdom) and our ability to overcome obstacles to achieve it (our strength).
This is my advice to help you stop being afraid to go out and find your love.
I call it my four commandments of strength with men.
1. Don’t conclude.
Not only do you want this and you deserve it, but you have the means to achieve it.
We all experience moments of rejection, confusion, doubt, and fear of all kinds when we actively pursue love. Okay, fine. But you can use self-talk to deal with it and not let it stop you.
Nix the talk “this is useless, I will never find anyone, I’m better alone.” Replace it with the talk “I usually get what I want, I deserve a great man, I know how to do it, I’ll solve it.”
2. If nothing else, it’s about learning and growing.
There are very few experiences that justify the decision to stop seeking love. Save them, every conversation, email, or date you have will be able to teach you something new about yourself or men.
Like anything else you do, the more you learn, the better off you will be. At worst, you may not find your lifelong partner, but you will have a lovely, fun time looking!
These moments need to be actively sought. If so, why do you think he did? (I know! Because you’re fabulous. Come on in!)
If you expected him to call, but he didn’t, what does that teach you about him or yourself? (Remember, if you don’t call, it’s just him; it’s not about you or all men.)
Are you making good decisions? Are you real when you meet men? Do you practice kindness with them and with yourself? Asking these questions, even trying to look at things from your perspective, will keep you learning and focusing on a positive forward movement.
3. Perspective, perspective, perspective.
Being rejected by a man or feeling that you have somehow ruined a chance to connect with a fantastic guy is a minor obstacle compared to what you have raised in your life.
You have faced and overcome many challenges. You have a full and satisfying life that you have worked hard to achieve, right? Cheerful dating and finding love is the icing on the cake.
If you have trouble remembering this, at least remember the # 2 commandment. There are no bad dates or missed opportunities. Everything you do in your search for love brings you closer to finding it. As long as you keep looking.
4. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Whether your goal is to find eternal love or just enjoy dating and find a partner, stay focused and try to turn off all other noise.
Like anything that is truly valuable and meaningful in your life, you tin achieve your goal with a little work and a little courage.
Part of the strength is not giving up before figuring out how to get what you need. Part of the wisdom is to find out what you need before you give up.
If you’ve been dating for a long time and haven’t had fun or found your special man, my wish for you is that you allow yourself to find the strength of your mind and gather your courage. Absolutely do not give up before you find out and find your lifelong love partner.
#afraid #dating #killed #worst #dragons #girl
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