Are Opponents Really Attracted? Of course they do. Mrs. Close with the bad guy. The drinker with the enabler. The cheeky woman with the shy introverted boy. Often like moths in a flame.
But the real question should be: Are opposites lasting lasting love?
In fact, more than 300 research studies say no. That long-term partners are usually more similar than different. So how do they share similar qualities?
Are Opposites Really Attracted? Values matter
In recent years, researchers have closely studied the types of men who are most interested in a long-term relationship and whether, according to the right age, having children. They have been able to distinguish between those that are marital material and those that are likely to be engagement phobias or gamblers. And guess what? There are telltale signs you can use to guide you on your first date.
Rutgers University and the National Marriage Project conducted a national study that found that married men were more likely than single men to have grown up with both biological parents. Nearly half of married men reported attending religious services several times a month, while less than a quarter of single men did so. So are opposites really attracted if your family and spiritual values are quite different? Keep reading.
When researchers classified single men as marital material, they found similarities between them. Men who said they came from traditional backgrounds and intact families and those who regularly attended religious services were the best prospects. These men agreed with the following statement: “You would be ready to get married tomorrow if the right person came.” A Gallup poll also showed that the vast majority of these men are looking for a “soul mate.” They are actively looking for someone to fulfill their emotional, sexual, and spiritual desires. And they also want a couple who also share the responsibility of making a living.
Are Opposites Really Attracted? Men with great personalities whose values do not match yours
The researchers also found that single men who are afraid of commitment or who are not emotionally available tend to:
- Be wary of women
- According to the statement that there are so many bad marriages today that it is questionable the value of marriage.
- He believes that singles have a better sex life.
- Worry more about divorce
Are Opposites Really Attracted? What you are looking for in the end
Now, of course, if someone didn’t grow up with both parents or has no religious or spiritual background, that doesn’t mean they aren’t the One and not being able to commit for a lifetime. This is a fair way to assess how prepared you are.
As you talk to him, pay attention to the other nuances: he is bitter about relationships, he is clearly angry about his childhood, not about a divorce. Do you have a negative view of life and have a “every man for himself” vibe? All these are red flags. Keep going. It will save you a lot of time, frustration, disappointment and lovelessness.
Ultimately, you’re looking for a guy who feels comfortable around you, who feels like he could be a solid, loving friend. One that doesn’t strain too much, but proves it’s totally in you. A good person with whom you share a chemistry that is being prepared but not exaggerated and out of control. If you’re wondering, opposites are really appealing and at the same time you’re having trouble figuring out if it’s matrimonial material, I have a gift for you.
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