One of the most important signs to look for is if you are not emotionally available.
You can’t waste time with a man who won’t open his heart.
Let me talk about …
Wanda, a friend of mine, had just come out of an extremely toxic relationship.
She met her ex through her work at a marketing convention last year. “He was one of the main presenters and his charisma attracted me,” Wanda told me.
She continued, “After a couple of drinks, I got on my nerves to make some flirtation signals. Indeed, she understood the track.”
After that, things got hot and heavy pretty quickly. They became intimate the week they met, and Wanda was caught in the tide of romance.
“The weirdest thing was that she was so quick to accumulate praise. She made me feel like the perfect woman even though she barely knew me!” Wanda shared.
She thought, “I should have paid attention. But how can you resist someone telling you all the things you’re dying to hear from a boy?”
Then the cracks began to appear. Her shining-armored knight suddenly shot Wanda and only appeared when it suited her.
When she was out of the net for days at a time, it was easier for Wanda to squeeze water from a rock than to pull out a single text. All the while, he was as sweet as ever, when he found time to see her.
“She didn’t even tell me where she was. All I got was a vague, half-hearted excuse to deal with personal or work things,” she said with a sigh.
Eventually it hit her head and Wanda couldn’t take it anymore. She felt like she was crazy because her ex-boyfriend was so quiet about her angry and crazy behavior.
So he finally put his foot down and asked him to clarify where he was with Mr. Elusive. He admitted that “he was not ready for a relationship” and “had luggage”.
Also, he was seeing other women.
We move quickly to the present day, and Wanda asks me what was wrong with her falling in love with a guy like that.
I did my best to make it easy for anyone with dust to fall hard on someone who makes you feel like you’re soul mates.
Although all signs indicate exactly the CONTRARY.
Love can be a mess, for sure. Meeting someone new triggers a wave of hormones that can make it difficult to see.
This is often the case for many of us, which is why we often do not see (or ignore) the dealbreakers that appear in the relationship.
Being in love is a lot of fun, but you have to be cautiously optimistic if any of these signs appear:
Don’t count on it – Sign no. 1: He never tells you how he feels
From time to time, a well-adjusted guy will say he “doesn’t want to talk about it” if he’s had a long day at work. But that’s only until you have some time to decompress yourself before you get into how your boss is about your case on this sales presentation.
Most men need some time to orient themselves in their own way, such as opening a cold drink and putting their feet up for a while.
A man MUST be willing to reveal this hidden side of ourselves to another significant one, even if he is not the most articulate man. Do not discard it if you see it making an EFFORT to open up to you.
The best thing you can do is help him get out of his shell, so to speak.
But if your boyfriend simply refuses to open up a little about what is bothering him, or to share anything he thinks about him in general, then you have a problem.
You probably don’t feel that sense of closeness to yourself. Or he’s just an emotionally distant guy.
Either way, this does not create a stable ground for a flourishing relationship
Go on with your life – Indicator no. 2: it is incomplete, flaky, always late, unreliable …
Comedian Aziz Ansari joked about how frustrating it can be to meet people. He ranted about people who would literally retire at the last minute or who could not make plans if their lives depended on it.
According to him, he feels like “a secretary of this really poor quality organization, programming the stupidest shit with the most flaky people ever.”
But how do you know if your boy falls into this category?
You may have come across one of those free-spirited, spontaneous spirits who like to keep things fresh and exciting. If it gives you surprise dates (like tickets for your favorite band), this is GOOD.
This means that you are still MAKING PLANS for a wonderful experience for both of you.
These are worlds apart from a guy who can’t commit to any set time or date to see you. When he shows up, he arrives an hour late because of some lame excuse.
And if he only sees you when it suits his schedule, he probably won’t take the relationship as seriously as you do.
In his mind, tomorrow he will take care of himself in some way despite the ZERO effort on his part.
Remember, you know the difference between a little unpredictability and being unreliable.
Time to jump ship – Sign no. 3: says he will not marry or have children
Like Wanda’s ex, the “I’m not the guy to marry” guy will make it clear that he’s vetoed the idea of being hooked at some remote time in the future.
Here’s what I told Wanda: When a guy tells you this, take it as a signal to move on, NOT as a challenge.
Many women have fallen in love with the fantasy that they may be the special lady of their life who finally got her to change her old ways. Don’t go through that rabbit hole.
Instead, take your statement at face value and start planning your exit strategy.
This is not the man you are looking for Sign no. 4: He complains incessantly about his past relationships
Watch your boyfriend get used to destroying his ex. Especially when he delves into the bloody details of the breakup or paints himself as an unfortunate one victim of his evil ex-girlfriends.
Keep this in mind: a decent guy will admit his own shortcomings at SOME level. He must confess at least one contribution to how things went wrong.
Or at least describe the breakup with the “we wanted different things” effect.
So playing the guilt game in a failed relationship is a bad sign. Tread lightly if it makes it look like it’s NEVER your fault.
Maybe you’re thinking, “Well, maybe he’s not the best character judge …”
This is a possibility, I will give it to you. After all, there will be SOME harsh feelings when it comes to someone you date.
However, you should STILL have one reasonable perspective about how it ended.
Keep in mind that speaking ill of an ex as if it were your job is another ball game.
It is NOT intended to be – Sign no. 5: Fantastic sex – confusing as intimacy
Physical intimacy can grow into something deeper with the right conditions. Hey, bedroom compatibility is a good start, that can’t be disputed.
You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people.
Even if you feel the spark between the sheets, take a second to consider the following:
– Does it always seem like a matter of “Wham bam thank you madaam” after the act? You want their interest rates step down once you got what you wanted?
– You only care about the next time you log in, and nothing after that? Maybe that’s all you can bring to the table – be careful if you NEVER talk about your relationship.
Keep this list handy to find out if your boyfriend will stay or not after you have just given birth.
Have you packed yet? Sign no. 6: You feel like you’re riding an emotional roller coaster with him
Being in love means feeling those butterflies in your stomach and that warm blood on your face. Let’s be honest: that’s 90% of the reason Because first we get into relationships.
Then there are the types of ups and downs that only serve to raise blood pressure. Some people really enjoy going through this emotional problem, but I have to tell you it’s not healthy.
If you just enjoy the electricity you generate when you’re together, knock out.
Don’t confuse it with a guy who makes you feel like rubbish at one point just to get up again right after.
This is what happened to Wanda with her ex. It took her a while to realize that she was not going anywhere with him treating her inconsistently.
It’s time to dump her and move on. It is not worth any superficial flattery and adoration emotional torment which follows.
Leaving the relationship – Sign no. 7: You cannot know or maintain privacy
The latter is easy because there is nothing cryptic or ambiguous in a man that avoids intimacy outside the bedroom. Think twice if you are deliberately keeping your distance when you are in the open air.
Let’s face it – you might have a problem if you act like you’re not known in public. You may feel tense when you try to make physical contact and she shudders (or even scolds you!).
If You Are Showing Other Signs of Emotional Unavailability In addition to this, it is best to go for greener pastures.
On the other hand, some guys just aren’t just hugs. He may be used to showing his love in other ways, such as doing things for you or making you feel safe.
That’s why you should stop abandoning him if you see that he has the capacity to love.
If it’s just showing one or two of the signs we’ve talked about, there could be a glimmer of hope beyond the horizon …
There are cases where you can still decipher a boy’s “love password” if it doesn’t seem like a hopeless case.
You see, every man has a defense mechanism to protect himself from bad relationships. Naturally, I would like to avoid all this pain if I could, so she locks you in, hiding behind her loving “password”.
If you know how to decipher this code, you will skip the whole drama and form a passionate connection with it.
You can do this with Forever Yours. It’s the fastest way to overcome your defenses and spend time together doing what really matters (rather than forcing you to validate the relationship).
Find out how to make it YOURSELF FOREVER by clicking HERE.
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